I Want to be a Writer

There has never been a time in my life when I didn't want to be a writer. Plenty of times when I didn't think I could but never a time when I didn't want it. My problem is, though, actually putting myself out there. I write a lot. I've got enough so that if, god forbid, anything happened (oh my, how far I've come from suicide-watch 2010! Hurray!) there'd be enough for a meager posthumous collection, but I do nothing with those stories except fret over them for months before abandoning them to the ethers of my hard driver.

So, how do I become more ambitious or motivated or less terrified of failing? For real, I need help, advice, mentoring, some sort of sadist to push me past my limits. And until someone says, "I will lead you, Alex, I will kick your ass into gear!" I am going to have to work on it on my own. Fortunately, another one of my personality traits is that once a gauntlet is thrown I will do anything to make that shit happen. Exhibit A, reading War and Peace until my eyes crossed and I got a migraine because I was in a race to finish (full disclosure: I took up the non-existent challenge when my friend said he was giving himself a month to read the thirteen hundred page behemoth).

Now, I'm issuing another challenge to myself and, with you all as my witnesses, my ego (the same ego that assumes that A) people are reading this blog and B) that you, possibly imaginary, readers care) will not allow me to drop this one. I am going to submit every story I write, repeatedly if necessary, until I either get published or drop dead from heart break over my failure.  

Wish me luck!

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